Moms & Teen Daughters: Strengthening the Sacred Bond
When my now 13-year-old was about 10, I realized that I needed to learn how to become a parent to my growing girl. Seemingly overnight, the tension between us started to grow as voices rose and doors slammed. Fights and bickering were numerous leaving both of us feeling disconnected. This wasn't who either of us was or whom we wanted to be. Something needed to change.
So I started digging into books, browsing websites, and seeking the counsel of my older, wiser friends that had already raised young women. And I also did a lot of remembering...I talked to my 12-year-old self and asked myself what I could have used or needed back in those days. I thought about my emotions, my fears, and what made me happy.
What I learned surprised me. It saddened me. It inspired me. I knew that we could work together and both take active roles in transforming our relationship. But I knew that for the process to begin, I would have to take the lead.
It had to begin with acknowledging my fears and how they were contributing to my parenting style and the toughie...I needed to look at how my relationship with my mom was influencing how I raising my girls (gulp).
The culmination of this soul searching and information seeking has lead me to offer a series of workshops to other mother/daughter duos. There is still plenty of learning that my daughter and I are experiencing together but our strong foundation makes the work a bit easier to do and allows for easier conflict resolution. My hope is that by sharing a combination of personal experiences along with my professional insights that other dynamic duos can thrive and grow together through the teen years forging a lasting, loving bond.